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Pure JOY! This is what Turning Pain to Power looks like. Congratulations to the 15th class at City of Joy on your graduation.
“Graduation day 15th session…we did it again ..perfection, new leaders, future of the DRC..deepest gratitude to Eve Ensler, my V-Day family, my dream team V-Day Congo! Family and friends who were always by my side helping me realize the dream of a better world. Love you all.” – Christine Schuler Deschryver, Co-Founder & Director City Of Joy, Director #VDay Congo
“My whole body and being are exploding as I just received this video of the graduation of the 15th class of City of Joy that happened this morning. 1294 young women have graduated since we opened. 1294 young women have been healed, educated, loved, nurtured, joined, inspired, made strong, become leaders by our amazing Congolese team of social workers, educators, leaders, farmers, nurses. I bow to my sister Christine Shuler Deschryver who leads City of Joy with full heart, devotion and vision. I bow to our incredible team who put their souls and bodies on the line every day to heal the most wounded. I bow to every person who has given financial support to make the dream of Congolese women a reality. Our sisters are Rising in the DRC!” – Eve Ensler
For more on City of Joy the center and our documentary film out on Netflix, visit: cityofjoycongo.org
#CityOfJoy #TurningPainIntoPower #UntilTheViolenceStops
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Photo Credit: One Billion Rising Kolkata
On Father’s Day, we honor the men who raised us and stand with us – whether through parenthood, chosen family, or adoption. We honor the men who RISE and V-Men everywhere who responded to the call to end violence against all women and girls. Recognizing that violence against women can only be addressed by engaging men, men and boys are creating and participating in One Billion Rising, producing and directing V-Day benefits, and screening the City of Joy film in support of the revolutionary center in Congo.
Rising across the world, men have organized, gathered, and mobilized other men to:
- Join the struggle to end to violence against women and girls.
- Encourage their peers to stop the abuse and to speak up about the rights of women and girls.
- Treat women with respect, dignity and equality.
- Commit to bringing attention to the rights of women.
- Stand and rise for justice and dignity for all women.
- Rise against all forms of patriarchy.
- Fight for social justice for women and girls.
We celebrate you as together we continue to work for necessary change, the dismantling of patriarchy and toxic masculinity, and the end of violence against all women and girls. And we invite men to join the movement!
DISMANTLE the Patriarchy
“Dismantle” is one of the newest of our V20 created Rising art, the hip hop single by duo Charity Croff and Jacob Denzel of Archduke (featuring Taylor Iman and Jenee Jones) calls on men to dismantle patriarchy.
Visit dismantlepatriarchy.org to watch & share the music video and anthem that exemplify and raise awareness of the work needed to end sexism.
Eve Ensler’s Newest Book The Apology Engages Men Across the Media
Eve is currently on her book tour in support of the best selling The Apology. From interviews to podcasts, men are engaging in the dialogue about what an apology is and unpacking the themes within the book.
“The geometry of toxic masculinity is contained in these pages.” — Marc Maron host of “WTF with Marc Maron”
“For those men – the famous and the unknown – The Apology is a blueprint of contrition.” – Ron Charles, The Washington Post
“The book is as much a powerful reckoning for her father as it is for certain endemic strains of patriarchy that have necessitated that such characters always exist. – Brandon Yu, The San Francisco Chronicle
Visit our new companion website at theapologybook.net, an online space for readers, activists and survivors to process and explore the themes raised in the book, for perpetrators to begin their own processes of accountability and apology, and for survivors to write imagined apologies and offer themselves healing.
See Eve on tour:
Thursday, June 13 at 7:30pm Bay Area Book Festival Women’s Lit Event Series, First Congregational Church, Berkeley, CA. In conversation with Brooke Warner of She Writes Press. Tickets >
Friday, June 14 at 7pm Hugo House, Seattle, WA. In partnership with Elliott Bay Books. In conversation with Amy Wheeler. Info >
Thursday, September 12 at 7:30pm Spoken Interludes, Riverview, 1 Warburton Ave, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY. Talk & Signing w/ Jeff Gordinier & Taffy Brodesser-Acker
Friday, October 25 at Yale University, New Haven, CT. Talk & Signing – Department of Psychiatry/women’s mental health conference
Send a Father’s Day e-Card & Support the Movement to End Violence Against All Women and Girls
Photo Credit: One Billion Rising Hong Kong
Make a donation to V-Day on behalf of your father, friends, and loved ones, and V-Day will send the specially designed Father’s Day V-Card of your choice, letting them know of your unique gift in their honor. Donations support the work of V-Day, One Billion Rising and City of Joy. Click here to donate >
To send a V-Card on the donate page, check the box next to “Would you like to send an eCard?” labeled “Yes, I would like to send a V-Day e-card,” choose the design you would like to send, and fill in the rest of the information to finish designing your gift.
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Since its release on May 14th, The Apology, a best seller, has been met with critical praise, while sparking necessary dialogue on sexual assault, accountability, and transformation.
The conversation that the book is engendering has been profound, as Eve continues her book tour, while speaking to and being interviewed by various media outlets. Not only is the book being hailed as a timely and necessary in the post #MeToo era; it has also sparked a great deal of dialogue about what the anatomy of a true apology is.
At this cultural moment of public reckoning with violence against women, Eve’s message has the power to prompt real transformation and healing—not only in those who have been abused but also in the ones who have hurt them—a step toward change that is necessary and long overdue.
“An extraordinary creative act, rewriting and reclaiming the narrative via an imagined apology from the perpetrator of unimaginable physical and emotional harm – a brutal but ultimately empowering feat. I read it breathlessly, curled up in my car, in the time it took my daughter to play a half of hockey. Ensler has long been lauded as writer/creator of The Vagina Monologues and V-Day. This is the story of her lost girlhood, secret no more whereby she gets to choose how the story ends – or rather, how life begins again.”
— Laura Bailey, British Vogue
“…as exquisite as it is excruciating.”
— Nneka McGuire, Washington Post
“Playwright Ensler’s The Vagina Monologues debuted in 1996 and became an international phenomenon, with women recounting their stories about sexuality, genitalia, and body image. Now the celebrated dramatist turns to prose in her slender fever dream of a book to give herself something she couldn’t get any other way. Assuming the voice of her late father, Ensler imagines his apology for raping, molesting, and abusing her throughout her childhood and conjures a reckoning with himself and what led him to these atrocities. Between the lines, readers can understand that she is coming to terms with her past and offering a blueprint for others who identify with her story.”
— National Book Review, 5 Hot Books
US leg of “The Apology” book tour continues
Eve will be making appearances across the United States this summer and into early fall. Find her on tour at the following stops:
Thursday, June 6 at 7pm Swedish American Museum, Chicago, IL. In partnership with Women & Children First. In conversation with Donna Seaman, Booklist editor. Tickets >
Friday, June 7 at 7:30pm Maplewood-South Orange Book Festival, The Woodland, Maplewood, NJ. In conversation with Jennifer Baumgardner, Women’s Review of Books editor. Tickets >
Saturday, June 8 at 3:30pm Printers Row Festival, Cindy Pritzker Auditorium at Chicago Public Library, Chicago, IL. In conversation with Natalie Moore of WBEZ. Free entry. Info >
Monday, June 10 at 8pm Live Talks LA, Moss Theater, Los Angeles, CA. In conversation with Idina Menzel. Tickets >
Tuesday, June 11 at 6:30pm Commonwealth Club, San Francisco, CA. In conversation with Lauren Schiller, host of “Inflection Point” on KALW. Tickets >
Thursday, June 13 at 7:30pm Bay Area Book Festival Women’s Lit Event Series, First Congregational Church, Berkeley, CA. In conversation with Brooke Warner of She Writes Press. Tickets >
Friday, June 14 at 7pm Hugo House, Seattle, WA. In partnership with Elliott Bay Books. In conversation with Amy Wheeler. Info >
Thursday, September 12 at 7:30pm Spoken Interludes, Riverview, 1 Warburton Ave, Hastings-on-Hudson, NY. Talk & Signing w/ Jeff Gordinier & Taffy Brodesser-Acker
Friday, October 25 at Yale University, New Haven, CT. Talk & Signing – Department of Psychiatry/women’s mental health conference
“The Apology” Book Website Explores the Themes Raised in the Book
For over 21 years, V-Day, the global activist movement that grew out of The Vagina Monologues, has galvanized women survivors to tell their stories, break the silence, and call out the systemic violence that perpetuates sexual violence against all women, including cis women, trans women, and those who hold fluid identities that are subject to gender based violence. Yet, we haven’t seen men move into the process of true apology. Of reckoning with their actions and moving towards accountability and transformation. Now is that time.
Building upon years of work with survivors, activists and anti-violence groups, V-Day launched theapologybook.net as an online space for readers, activists and survivors to process and explore the themes raised in the book, for perpetrators to begin their own processes of accountability and apology, and for survivors to write imagined apologies and offer themselves healing.
We hope you and your loved ones will find the website to be inspiring and useful.
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Photo Credit: Paula Allen
As we write, the next class is getting ready for graduation from City of Joy, the revolutionary leadership center for women survivors of sexual violence in the Democratic Republic of Congo. These ninety graduates will join a growing cohort of incredible women who have survived some of the most horrific violence imaginable and – through their collective healing – are now thriving as leaders in their communities.
Tomorrow, 25 May is V-Day Founder’s Eve’s 66th birthday. To celebrate, donate to support a collective of women who will channel their healing power into planting and cultivating crops.
With your support, in regions throughout Congo, the City of Joy will purchase plots of land for collectives of these new graduates. By working their land these women will increase their financial independence. Projects like this have been very successful. Last year, with your support, graduating women received the gift of a plot of land, which provided them with economic independence and stability.
TURN PAIN TO POWER TO PLANTING by donating today: vday.org/planting
Together we are healing the earth, Turning Pain to Power to Planting – JOIN US!
BACKGROUND ON THE CITY OF JOY
The City of Joy is a transformational leadership community for women survivors of violence, located in Bukavu, Eastern Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). Conceived, owned, and run by local Congolese, the City of Joy has flourished since it first opened its doors in June 2011. It is a place where women heal themselves from their past trauma through therapy and life skills programming while providing them with the essential ingredients needed to move forward in life – love and community.
Serving up to 90 survivors of gender violence aged 18 to 30 at a time, the City of Joy reached a historic milestone last year. With the upcoming graduation on 21 June, 1294 women leaders will have graduated from City of Joy and are giving back to their communities!
Your donations in the US are fully tax-deductible. Please be as generous as you can to support this work.
TAKE ACTION:
LEARN more about the City of Joy
WATCH the Documentary Film, SHARE The Trailer
SPREAD THE WORD on Social Media, Download the Screening Guide, Plan a House Party or Screening
DONATE to the City of Joy in DR Congo, Support Women in Congo
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“As only she can, Eve Ensler shares the story of her father’s ultimate betrayal with both unflinching candor and immeasurable grace. Through sheer creative force, she takes us on her own journey to healing. Though Ensler’s story is deeply personal, its lessons are universal.” – Anita Hill
“The geometry of toxic masculinity is contained within these pages.” – Marc Maron, “WTF with Marc Maron Podcast”
Eve’s Newest Book “The Apology” Out Today, 14 May
Like millions of women, Eve has been waiting much of her lifetime for an apology. Sexually and physically abused by her father, Eve has struggled her whole life from this betrayal, longing for an honest reckoning from a man who is long dead. After years of work as an anti-violence activist, she decided she would wait no longer; an apology could be imagined, by her, for her, to her. The Apology, written by Eve from her father’s point of view in the words she longed to hear, attempts to transform the abuse she suffered with unflinching truthfulness, compassion, into an expansive vision for the future.
Through The Apology, Eve has set out to provide a new way for herself and a possible road for other survivors of abuse to envision how to finally free themselves. She grapples with questions she has sought answers to since she first realized the impact of her father’s abuse on her life: How do we offer a doorway rather than a locked cell? How do we move from humiliation to revelation, from curtailing behavior to changing it, from condemning perpetrators to calling them to reckoning? What will it take for abusers to genuinely apologize?
Remarkable and original, The Apology is an acutely transformational look at how, from the wounds of sexual abuse, we can begin to re-emerge and heal. It is revolutionary, asking everything of each of us: courage, honesty, and forgiveness.
The Apology is published by Bloomsbury. For more info, visit https://www.bloomsbury.com/us/the-apology-9781635574388/
V-DAY LAUNCHES NEW WEBSITE TO EXPLORE THE THEMES RAISED IN THE BOOK
For over 21 years, V-Day, the global activist movement that grew out of The Vagina Monologues, has galvanized women survivors to tell their stories, break the silence, and call out the systemic violence that perpetuates sexual violence against all women, including cis women, trans women, and those who hold fluid identities that are subject to gender based violence. Yet, we haven’t seen men move into the process of true apology. Of reckoning with their actions and moving towards accountability and transformation. Now is that time.
Coinciding with the book release and building upon years of work with survivors, activists and anti-violence groups, V-Day has launched theapologybook.net today as an online space for readers, activists and survivors to process and explore the themes raised in the book, for perpetrators to begin their own processes of accountability and apology, and for survivors to write imagined apologies and offer themselves healing.
Book Tour Scheduled in US, Canada, and the UK
Monday night in NYC, Eve launched her book tour at the 92nd Street Y in conversation with Glenn Close, and featuring special guest, acclaimed actor James Naughton reading passages from the book.
Eve will go on to tour the US, Canada and UK.
More dates coming, check theapologybook.net/book-tour for info
WATCH Eve on Democracy Now!
“Eve Ensler, creator of The Vagina Monologues, has written a remarkable new book addressing trauma, abuse and what it takes to heal. The Apology is written from the perspective of her father, who sexually and physically abused Ensler as a child. In the book’s introduction she writes: ‘My father is long dead. He will never say the words to me. He will not make the apology. So it must be imagined. For it is in our imagination that we can dream across boundaries, deepen the narrative, and design alternative outcomes.'” – Democracy Now!
View the interview here
ADVANCE PRAISE FOR THE APOLOGY
“…one of the most shatteringly brilliant books I have read. As soon as I finished it, I read it again, and again, and again (really).” – Decca Aitkinhead, The Sunday Times of London
“The Apology” contains the words that Ensler needed to hear her father say. It’s a slim book of unbearable heft. The text is presented as a letter written by her father from a kind of void beyond the grave, “floating, unmoored, spinning.” – The Washington Post
“Playwright Eve Ensler exposes the origins of her famed play, “The Vagina Monologues,” by assuming the voice of her father, Arthur, who she says molested, raped and abused her throughout childhood. “The Apology” is more than a reckoning with a man long dead; it’s a healing exploration of how survivors can recover from sexual abuse.” – USA Today
“Eve’s book is a guide for those who have never received the apology they deserve, and for those who know there is one they’ve yet to give.” – Kimberlé Crenshaw, author of On Intersectionality and V-Day Board Member
“The Apology is a brave step toward radical healing—not just for Eve Ensler, but for all those who accept her invitation to confront the trauma of sexual abuse and find the apology they might never hear. But Ensler’s book can also be seen as an invitation to men and a roadmap for the apologies that need to be made.” – Tony Porter, CEO, A Call to Men
“Accusation and punishment of the guilty is one critical step in reckoning with abuse. Eve Ensler offers another crucial step forward: the deep self-reckoning and accounting that a true apology requires. This is an urgently needed book right now.” – Jane Fonda, actor, activist and V-Day Board Member
“An apology is where human action meets divine spirit. It can be so tender, brave and beautiful a thing that it has the power to free the injured soul from the curse of victimhood and suffering. At its most heartfelt an apology promises profound liberation for both the accuser and the accused.” – Thandie Newton, actor, activist and V-Day Board Member
“The Apology is profound and theatrical, literary and sometimes funny, as all of Eve Ensler’s work is, and it goes without saying, it’s courageous, transformative, and yes—healing.” – Anne Lamott, bestselling author of Almost Everything and Imperfect Birds
“Eve Ensler’s The Apology is both an excoriation and an act of startling forgiveness. Even as it depicts jaw-dropping cruelties, it probes the complexities and layers that underlie what could, in lesser hands, appear as the opaque surface of pure evil. Ensler unflinchingly increases our understanding of the human experience even at its darkest, which is quite possibly a writer’s, any writer’s, most significant contribution.” – Michael Cunningham, author of The Hours
“In this triumph of artistry and empathy, Eve Ensler leaves us with a transformative question: what if the words we most long to hear from another can be located within ourselves? Navigating the rocky rapids between intimacy and annihilation, contrition and forgiveness, autonomy and interdependence, this is a book like no other. Few will emerge unchanged.” – Naomi Klein, bestselling author of The Shock Doctrine
“This is one of the most original and profound books of the decade. For anyone who has ever been hurt by somebody they love, it will be deeply transformative. Twenty-five years ago, Eve Ensler transformed how women think about their bodies. With this book, she will change how all of us think about our souls.” – Johann Hari, author of Chasing the Scream and Lost Connections
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OBR Brazil, Credit: @mariliayonara
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V-Day wishes all a Happy Mother’s Day, as we reflect upon and honor the women who have given us life – whether that be through birth, chosen family, or adoption – we express our deepest gratitude and celebrate these mothers today and every day.
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Calling in Men to RISE for Mothers;
Share Your Tribute to a Woman Who Has Shaped Your Life
Watch the music video at like-a-woman.org
This year, in celebration of Mother’s Day, V-Day is calling on men around the world to film & share their own “Like a Woman” tribute videos with the hashtag #LikeAWoman, honoring their mothers, friends, and loved ones – women who have shaped their lives for the better.
These video tributes will reflect men’s appreciation for the women in their lives while also considering what it means to live as a man in our world where one in three women are directly affected by violence. Share the video widely on social media.
VISIT like-a-woman.org and use the hashtags #LikeAWoman #MothersDay2019 #1BillionRising
Singer/songwriter Ryan Amador wrote ‘Like a Woman’ to proclaim, from a man’s voice, his devotion to womankind. The song is a call to men to actively celebrate women and stand up against those who restrict women’s rights and/or perpetuate patriarchal abuse around the world.
Send a Mother’s Day e-Card & Support the Movement to End Violence Against All Women and Girls
RISE for the mothers in your life. You can celebrate Mother’s Day by supporting the movement working to end violence against women and girls (cisgender, transgender, and those who hold fluid identities that are subject to gender based violence).
Make a donation to V-Day & One Billion Rising on behalf of your mother, friends, and loved ones, and V-Day will send the specially designed Mother’s Day V-Card of your choice, letting them know of your unique gift in their honor. Donations support the work of V-Day, One Billion Rising and City of Joy. Click here to donate >
To send a V-Card on the donate page, check the box next to “Would you like to send an eCard?” labeled “Yes, I would like to send a V-Day e-card,” choose the design you would like to send, and fill in the rest of the information to finish designing your gift.
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Spotlight Blog Series on Women in Prison & Detention
V-Day’s Spotlight on Women in Prison, Detention Centers, and Formerly Incarcerated Women has been created in collaboration with Kathy Boudin and Cheryl Wilkins and formerly incarcerated women and activists working on prison reform and prison abolition. In this blog series you will hear from women whose lives have been profoundly impacted by the prison and detention system on issues as far ranging as: trauma and abuse; shackling; transgender experiences; dignity; health and mental health; experiences of long term inmates; the youth/school to prison pipeline; the experiences of mothers and children navigating the immigration system; higher education in prison; and reentry and technology.
Incarceration: Violence, Accountability and Transformation
“U.S. incarceration of women remains at historic and global high. Despite recent reforms, the United States still incarcerates 698 people for every 100,000 residents, more than any other country. Compared to that number, the women’s incarceration rate of 133 seems quaint. But it’s the highest incarceration rate for women in the world. And while the overall U.S. incarceration rate is falling, the women’s rate remains at an historic high.” – Aleks Kajstura in the “States of Women’s Incarceration: The Global Context 2018.” [1]
The path of women to prison has been documented and increasingly understood as having many gender specific factors. Women who are incarcerated or who have come home from incarceration such as myself are speaking about our lives more and more. We contribute to the knowledge about how the life experiences of women play a role in them ending up in prison, including those women who are convicted of harming others.[2]
Going to Prison
In 1979, at the age of 17, I was sentenced to 50 years to life for the crimes of second degree murder and robbery.[3] I spent 39 years and two months in the Bedford Hills Correctional Facility for women. I spent a year on Rikers Island. Upon turning 18, I was shipped to Bedford Hills Correctional facility[4] for women to serve out my life sentence. My initial thoughts on entering a maximum security prison at 18 years old and having a life sentence were horrifying. I knew that my life was over, that this was the end of the road for me. There would be no proms, dates, college, or any seemingly normal teenager’s life in my future. All my family and friends would desert me and I would be left to die, old and alone. I was so ashamed of what I was arrested for because my own mother had abused me for years and that abuse created shame in me, and now I was convicted of a violent crime. For many years I lied to my family and friends about my actual sentence. I would tell people that I only had 25 to life because just the thought of 50 years to life was too overwhelming for me to conceive or to explain. I know now that this hurt many of my relationship because it was public knowledge that I had 50 years to life and many people knew that I was just lying. But the truth is that by not verbalizing my sentence it made it less real for me and it was a way for my young mind to cope.
The Complex Road to Crime: Violent behavior is often strongly influenced by family experiences, cultural norms and social determinants.
I was convicted of a violent crime and society locked me up and vanquished any ideas I had for my future. Any girl/ woman who commits a violent crime is considered the worst of society. Women are expected to be the nurturers and caregivers of the family nucleus and the consensus is to punish them and throw away the key. What troubles me the most is that no one took into consideration the circumstances that led up to the crime, what influences in my life contributed to this, and what could be done to help me now that I was incarcerated. I was physically and emotionally abused by my heroin addicted mother; I watched my sister being raped by my step-father, and witnessed violent behavior growing up. Violence is everywhere in our society; we are bombarded by movies, video games, television shows, and news channels which broadcast all the horrible acts of violence that occur daily. Instead of incarceration, many preventive measures need to be implemented in schools and community centers, in PSA announcements and through social media. We need to take a closer look at violence in our society and make some changes on how we help people on both sides of the coin, victim as well as those who harm others. And the separation between those who are harmed and those who act and harm others is often blurred: those people in prison for harming others are often people who have been harmed themselves. [5]
Taking Responsibility
How does a person who has committed a violent crime accept responsibility and become remorseful for their action? Does the prison system help people convicted of a violent act cope with the myriad of emotions associated with the act? Does it help them understand and accept responsibility for the pain that their actions have caused in the lives of the victims and survivors such as family and friends and community? The truth is that the prison I lived in for 39 years, did little to help me, a person who was involved in an act that took the lives of others and caused so much pain for others who survived; nor did the prison provide any program available for healing the hurts on both sides.
My experience of dealing with responsibility started by putting the blame on others; it was extremely hard for me to acknowledge that I had to take responsibility for the loss of two lives. My denial became my wall of protection from facing the horror of my crime and it ate at me day by day and year by year. I wrestled with the idea that I was not a violent person and blamed everyone but myself: it was my mother’s fault; my upbringing; my ethnicity; the neighborhood I grew up in; my co-defendant; the list continued to grow the more I thought about how to skirt responsibility. I decided to stop thinking and resigned myself to put it in the recesses of my mind. I often numbed the pain with drugs. The shame was too much for me to bear and I just could not view myself as a violent person and certainly refused to have violence associated with who I was. I was the abused target of violence by my own mother, not the perpetrator of violence.
The people who aided in my being able to accept responsibility were the other long termers who were incarcerated with me. We would often times sit down and our crimes would come up in the daily conversations, and there is one conversation in particular that was the starting point of my realization in accepting and understanding the vast repercussions of what I did and who I was. The road was not an easy one because I was in deep denial and didn’t connect my participation in the actual crime to responsibility; yes I was there; yes, I agreed to participate in the robbery but I was definitely not responsible for the deaths. This was the mantra I resigned to tell myself over and over.
The one conversation that got me thinking differently was with a woman who had a drug charge and she was constantly saying that no one was harmed by the crime. Many of us were in disagreement about her crime being victimless. As we continued to talk I found myself saying that although she didn’t physically harm anyone and the people who brought illegal drugs from her were making their own choices, she still was affecting their lives and the lives of their family and friends; what if they took an overdose and died, would she then feel responsibility? Or what if their children were left alone and something tragic occurred? My friend was in denial just as much as I was. That night I grappled with my thoughts concerning questions about my own crime. Was I just as responsible as my friend? My victims had family and friends that would be affected by their lost. What about plans they had? What about their children? What if someone depended on them financially and now they couldn’t or wouldn’t survive? Life is precious and every life matters. The questions kept coming, yet the sad fact is that it took about 10 years for me to completely understand and accept that I was an integral part of two lives being taken from this earth.
There came an enormous amount of pain and shame with accepting responsibility. I had to rethink my entire life to understand how the hell I got to that point. I spent many nights crying and asking my victims for forgiveness, I felt I didn’t deserve to be forgiven. I read book after book on reconciliation and forgiveness to see what others had done to heal. I meditated and joined the prison Church to try and absolve myself from sin. I resigned to commit myself to serving others in my community because I just felt as if I had taken so much from the world and I needed to give back in a huge way. I was in the beginning stages of something transformational and my life was going to change drastically because of this. I began to look inside myself and discover who I was – the positive as well as the negative- and to fully accept that took an enormous amount of courage on my part, because I struggled with acceptance of my crime for years. I would waiver back and forth on whether or not I was really responsible. This was the game I played with myself for years. I had to learn to forgive myself first so that I could extend that forgiveness to others and make amends for the crimes I had committed. I was responsible for all of my actions, deliberate or unintentional; this is what I learned from my peers: be responsible; stop blaming; acknowledge what happened, especially your role; see yourself clearly and honestly (strengths and weaknesses). It took 15 years, until I wrote my first letter of remorse to the surviving family members of the people who died because of my acts.
As I think about both the roots of my involvement in violence and the issue of responsibility, I know that increasingly it is understood that people who cause harm have often been victims themselves of violence. I also read more and more about the recognition that prisons are mainly sites of punishment, not places designed to help people grow and find self-worth, develop the capacity to redirect their lives, and to confirm their humanity. We, who were in prison, know that and now there is a growing recognition of that. [6]
There is an increasing focus on understanding why women in particular commit violence and this work sometimes positively impacts legislation. For example, the New York State legislature just passed a Domestic Violence Survivor’s Justice Act that reduces sentencing for victims of domestic violence if the person (male or female) was largely influenced by domestic violence at the time of the crime, including options to be sentenced to community alternatives and includes the right for those already in prison to apply for resentencing. [7]
And there are programs that help imagine approaches to create accountability other than just punishment. [8]
We have a long way to go to make the changes needed but I can see some hope.
Roslyn Smith was arrested at age 17, served 39 years in prison, and recently came home at the age of 56. She is busy building a new life and being a mother, doing all the things a person has to take care of after 39 years in prison. Dedicated to making a contribution to issues faced by women impacted by incarceration, Ros is working as V-Day’s Beyond Incarceration Program Manager.
[1] This report updates how U.S. women fare in the world’s carceral landscape, comparing incarceration rates for women of each U.S. state with the equivalent rates for countries around the world. https://www.prisonpolicy.org/global/women/2018.html
[2] https://acluva.org/sites/default/files/field_documents/aclu-va_women_in_prison_report_2018_final_09062018.pdf
[3] In New York State, “50-life” means that you cannot even have the opportunity to see a parole board until you have served 50 years.
[4] Rikers Island is the large jail where people arrested in New York City are sent. Bedford Hills Correctional Facility is the New York State maximum security prison for women
[5] https://www.nytimes.com/2018/05/25/upshot/have-you-ever-seen-someone-get-killed.html
[6] Sered, D. (2019) Until we reckon: Violence, mass incarceration, and a road to repair. New Press, NY
[7] https://www.nysenate.gov/newsroom/press-releases/roxanne-j-persaud/domestic-violence-survivors-justice-act-longtime-bill
[8] Common Justice https://www.commonjustice.org/; Longtermer Responsibility Program Osborne Association http://www.osborneny.org/services/reducing-reliance-on-incarceration/longtermers-responsibility-project/; Restorative Justice for Oakland Youth http://rjoyoakland.org/about/
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Photo: Valery Sharifulin / Tass / Guardian
V-Day and One Billion Rising condemn the United States’ threat to veto the United Nation’s resolution on combatting the use of rape as a weapon of war because it calls for support of family planning clinics for survivors and uses terminology like sexual and reproductive health, which for the Trump administration equates to abortion support. The resolution has already been weakened by the US, Russia and China’s insistence that it not create a new and formal mechanism to monitor and report war-time atrocities.
Lack of access to healthcare is a form of violence against all women and girls. With access to reproductive healthcare and family planning, women have agency to turn their pain into power, transforming their lives and that of their community after the devastation of violence and war.
V-Day and One Billion Rising call on US activists to rise up and put pressure on the Congress and the White House to get this important resolution passed so that there is accountability and support for women survivors of rape. Write letters, make phone calls and make your voices heard!
Global activists can also put pressure on the United States by raising awareness of this veto threat and contacting their governments and the United Nations representatives.
NO TO THE VETO!
Contact your local politicians, Congress members, Senators, and UN representatives to advocate for the necessity of this measure in order to end systemic sexual gender-based violence. Leave voicemails, send letters, lead and join organized actions to hold our government accountable.
Contact Congress
U.S. House of Representatives:
* Telephone: 202-225-3121
* Website: http://www.house.gov/
U.S. Senate:
* Telephone: 202-224-3121
* Website: http://www.senate.gov/
Contact the White House
https://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
Contact UN Representatives
https://usun.state.gov/contact
To read more about this issue:
US threatens to veto UN resolution on rape as weapon of war, officials say (The Guardian, 22 April 2019)
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BE HEARD (Bringing an End to Harassment by Enhancing Accountability and Rejecting Discrimination) in the Workplace Act Introduced Today
“Women’s work makes the world go round. To enact legislation that seeks to protect women in the workplace so that they can work with dignity, support themselves and their families and thrive free of fear and threats is essential to our society. I applaud the BE HEARD Act and call upon Congress to enact it into law. All of us at V-Day and One Billion Rising stand in solidarity with workers across the United States today. Without you, nothing is possible.” – Eve Ensler
V-Day and One Billion Rising applaud Senator Murray (D-WA) and Representative Clark (D-MA, 5th District) for introducing the BE HEARD (Bringing an End to Harassment by Enhancing Accountability and Rejecting Discrimination) in the Workplace Act today. This important legislation is a tangible next step in the public reckoning we are dealing with as a society in the wake of #MeToo. The act will not only help to prevent harassment in all forms in the workplace; it will insure workers safety, dignity and peace of mind.
The BE HEARD Act will:
- Raise the subminimum tipped wage to the full minimum wage because reliance on tips makes working people more vulnerable to harassment and discrimination by both clients and employers;
- Expand civil rights protections to all workers;
- Strengthen understanding workplace harassment and help business owners and workers prevent it;
- Help ensure transparency and accountability; and
- Empower people who come forward with reports of harassment or retaliation to ensure they get support, a fair hearing, and be made whole for their harm.
Throughout our movement we have seen how harassment in the workplace further stigmatizes the most marginalized working on the fringes of society, while also impacting the lives of those who are more privileged. US Activists: Call your representatives and ask them to support this legislation!
Together, we RISE for women workers everywhere, and we will continue to RISE to end workplace harassment until the violence stops.
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“MUJER VALIENTE”
SPANISH-LANGUAGE VERSION OF “LIKE A WOMAN” RELEASED
RECORDED BY KIKE JIMÉNEZ OF THE VOICE MEXICO AND SEAN O’CONNELL
Just out! Kike Jiménez (finalist on The Voice Mexico) and Sean O’Connell – together with One Billion Rising – release “Mujer Valiente” – the Spanish language translation of “Like a Woman” released on International Women’s Day. Produced by One Billion Rising Mexico global coordinator Andres Naime, “Mujer Valiente” debuted live last night following a performance of “The Vagina Monologues” in Mexico City.
“We need this type of movement in 2019. Many of us young people believe there’s no such thing as misogyny or gender-based violence anymore, when really it’s as strong as ever. Every day there are new cases of missing women, many sold, murdered, or victims of violence at home. It is so important that we create consciousness and awareness that these are real and actual problems that cannot be ignored. It’s an honor to be a voice for this amazing cause.” – Kike Jiménez, singer of “Mujer Valiente.”
“Mujer Valiente” and “Like a Woman” are part of V-Day’s 20th anniversary (V20) initiative to create new disruptive art pieces that inspire people to act. Both versions will now be part of the One Billion Rising activist-led events that take place across the globe.
LISTEN & JOIN THE CAMPAIGN AT Like-A-Woman.Org
“Like a Woman” has gone viral since it’s #IWD2019 release with influencers including V-Day Board member/actor/activist Thandie Newton, actor/activist Evan Rachel Wood, and others sharing it with their followers.
Listen, Watch & Share We Call in Men to Film & Upload Your Own “Like a Woman” & “Mujer Valiente” Tribute Photo or Video with the hashtags #LikeAWoman and #MujerValiente. These video and photographic tributes will reflect men’s appreciation for the women in their lives while also considering what it means to live as a man in our world where one in three women are directly affected by sexual violence. VISIT like-a-woman.org
#CAMPESINASRISING ON 25 MARCH
LED BY ALIANZA NACIONAL DE CAMPESINAS,
THE FIRST NATIONAL FARMWORKER WOMEN ORGANIZATION THAT FIGHTS FOR CAMPESINA’S HUMAN RIGHTS
Campesinas Rising will raise awareness about and work towards eliminating violence faced by campesina women and girls, in the United States and globally. The idea of Campesinas Rising first emerged from Alianza Nacional de Campesinas and Eve Ensler’s collaboration to eradicate violence against campesinas and girls, as part of the global One Billion Rising Global Movement. Campesinas Rising will raise awareness about and work towards eliminating violence faced by campesina women and girls, in the United States and globally.
Campesinas Rising takes place on the first day of Farmworker Awareness Week 2019, and during Women’s History Month. Throughout the day, advocacy events and actions will be carried out by farmworker women-serving and member organizations throughout the world. From social media storms to lobbying for protections for women and girls, gender-justice and farmworkers’ rights organizations will unite with a common goal to advance a safer working space for farmworker women and girls. Find an action near you and join us in our fight to end gender-based violence against women and girls.
For more info, visit onebillionrising.org/campesinasrising